Sunday, 25 November 2012

Age of Empires: Rise of Rome: A Random Map longplay in five stanzas

Ah, real time strategy games - the grinder's paradise. Cue micromanagement with 1998's Age of Empires, or to be more specific, the Rise of Rome expansion pack. This longplay follows a primitive civilisation which, under the control of Harry Yack, becomes the dominant force in Square Land. Hopefully.

Parts I-V: Playlist

Colour text (ironically in white):

Part I documents the first steps in building a civilisation: collecting resources, researching technology and ultimately going out to battle. Haha, those fools won't know what hit them!

Part II focuses on the minutiae of battle. With three other civilisations baying for your blood, it's difficult to micro-manage both attack and defence, but you must, for here the game can be won and lost.

The schoolyard bickering between human and AI continues in Part III. The thing about computer controlled civilisations is that they never destroy each other. Typical, i'nt it? For that reason you just can't keep folding your 8-9 suited - you must attack when you first get the chance, for as soon as they know where you are, you're dogmeat.

We must summon the power of Schwarzenegger to simply stay alive in this world of micromanagement and poor pathfinding. More towers!

In Part IV, approximately 40 minutes of in-game time have passed since the 'epic' events of the previous instalment. You would have seen them but technical difficulties thwarted the recording process and all footage was lost. Do not fret, however, for it mainly consisted of me attempting in vain to break down the enemies' defences.

To make up for the failings of technology (and myself), one can witness yet more of me attempting in vain to break down the enemies' defences. We're in the latter part of this war and it's getting quite late, hence the decreasing volume of Mr Yack's commentary.

Mumblin' Harry returns for Part V of this extended Abomination, concluding a whole afternoon's gameplay on Age of Empires: Rise of Rome. Is it too late for the near-dead to be resurrected? One would hope not, but this *is* Mr Yack we're talking about here. Hopefully we can wrap this up early and go home for tea.

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