Thursday, 29 December 2011

Goldeneye 007 [N64] - Christmas Day in Severnaya

No James Bond on telly this Christmas Day? Oh well, console yourself with this video, which I suppose you could term a Christmas Special. It is December, after all.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Beer.


Apologies for any minor audio leakage. Just erm, pretend it isn't there.

Saturday, 24 December 2011

The Retro Yakking Christmas Tape 2011

Have a seat, kids, and let me tell you a story.

Long, long ago, before even the Game Boy camera, there existed a thing known as VHS. People could copy programmes off the telly and share them with other people without being branded a pirate supporting terrorism, druggies and David Cameron.

Before long, the people who lived in the television decided to record themselves doing very silly things to try and make their friends and family think they were cool. Each year, these recordings were brought together in a Christmas tape, a combination of extreme profanity, poor acting and general tomfoolery. It truly was the precursor to user-generated internet television.

While snooping around the Retro Yakking communal kitchen for scraps of food, I stumbled across a tape marked 'donot play [sic]'. After reviewing its contents, I think you should see it. But remember this one thing: it's twenty minutes of dreadfully rehashed content that wasn't good enough for general release. And when you remember 'general release' means 'uploaded to YouTube', you get a better understanding of the level of quality were talking about here.


Includes general outtakes, some bloopers from Pokemon Green and a binned Spiderman TV Boy II review. Merry Christmas, ya bums!

Monday, 19 December 2011

Fly In The Sky (Barnstorming) on TV Boy II (Atari 2600 clone)

It's a little known fact that bored (or perhaps hard-up) 1920s agriculturalists would rent out their farmland to stunt pilots with a little too much time on their hands. That's the story of Barnstorming, in which you must fly your biplane through barns of solid stainless steel while avoiding pesky low-flying ducks and various impregnable towers in an attempt to beat your own record time.

This recreation of said pastime for the Atari 2600 is a pleasant short-term time killer, but if you want to earn your Flying Aces patch, you can spend an afternoon or two attempting to complete the first three levels within Activision's target times:

Game 1: 33.3 seconds
Game 2: 51.0 seconds
Game 3: 54.0 seconds

Looks like I have quite a way to go yet, eh? Fortunately, the courses on modes 1, 2 and 3 can be memorised for maximum exploitage as the barn layouts are precisely the same each time. Mode 4 is the expert's level, and as such is totally random.

Can't really comment on how faithful a conversion this TV Boy emulated version actually is as I haven't played the original Atari version. I will say, however, that the weird graphical glitch on the first video (which very nearly made me scrap the recording altogether) is down to the TV Boy's incompatibility with my 2011 Toshiba HD TV rather than the system itself. Seems I must dig out the old CRT to test this theory.

Take one (pants version)



Take two (slightly better version)