Wednesday, 28 September 2011

Hamburger (Fast Food) on TV Boy II [Atari 2600 clone] - You're Getting Fatter!

It's time for more food-related fun and frolics courtesy Fast Food --or should I say Hamburger-- for the Atari 2600. This particular version of the game, which is plagued with colour emulation problems, can be found on the Akor/Systema TV Boy, an unlicensed clone console thingy in the shape of a controller.

Fast Food is exactly as the title claims: it's really fast and has lots of food in it. Your dismembered mouth is charged with the task of consuming grub for points, which you will soon find quite an addictive concept. After drawing you in with novelty value, the game soon presents quite a challenge as the various burgers, milkshakes and tortilla chips come at you quicker than John Prescott when he hears the buffet's open. It becomes increasingly difficult to dodge the purple peppers (AKA pickles or sausages) which will inevitably lead to a debilitating, gassy death - the things whizz by so fast you can't help but inadvertently swallow them.

I won't go so far as to say this is the best game on the TV Boy, but it's certainly my favourite, even if it does require ever-better lightning reactions as you advance through the difficulty levels. In years gone by we coped with this typical Atari requirement much better, but even today much enjoyment can be found in gobbling up items of unhealthy food. And I'm not just talking about in real life.

Saturday, 24 September 2011

Pokemon Green Engrish translation (Bootleg) [Game Boy] Playthrough PART 25

Dr Aochider is your guide for the latest instalment of this never-ending (yet somehow highly intriguing) Pokemon playthrough.

*Bonus: Silly Quotes*
  • Miniskirt: "Round and light likes a toy PET! ..., how about you?"
  • Miniskirt (on losing): "Stop! To my Pipi, don't be too rude!"
  • Gamble: "I'm still a vagrant gambler."
  • Gamble (on losing): "...! Why you let the first go?"
  • Science Man (on losing): "Beyond my understanding!"
  • Miniskirt 2 (on losing): "But, why,"
  • Science Man: "Study is also a good thing..., but PET is also good."
  • Miniskirt 3: "Such range likes as flowers in a row on the range."
  • Miniskirt 3 (on losing): "Go too far! All are lovely PET. But"
  • Science Man 2: "You, PET, looks very strong. But, are you good at science?"
  • Science Man 2 (on losing): "Suddenly fall"
  • Woman: "Do you often go there? How convenient there selling various commodities in lightning shop."
  • Bloke: "Recently it is said there apears some dazzy PET in Kerria City."

Sunday, 18 September 2011

The Dentist (Plaque Attack) on TV Boy II [Atari 2600 clone] - Extracting some fun

Welcome to Plaque Attack, a dentist simulator in the form of an Atari space shooter. Your ship, a miniature tube of toothpaste, is tasked with defending a giant's mouth from the advances of floating aliens resembling burgers, ice cream cones and... cassettes with hair?

A relatively simple challenge at first, it all gets rather frantic as the mutant doughnuts and candy canes flying at you from all directions become increasingly slippery. One must utilise all one's super-sharp Atari joystick reactions to eliminate all threats before the monster's teeth are rotted to mere stumps, leaving him quite literally toothless. Presumably the giant then swallows your ship in a fit of rage before purchasing a new set of gnashers and allowing you to do it all again with a new tube of toothpaste.

You can earn yourself extra teeth, to be surgically implanted in a matter of milliseconds, every couple of thousand points to extend your game just that bit longer so you can experience the thrill of evil sandwiches and Glacé cherries being flung at you in Space Invader-esque fashion.

Not quite as fun as Fast Food, a similarly food-related title on the TV Boy, but certainly a novel little idea that at least *attempts* to deviate from the usual "Aliens From Planet X" Atari fare. Except it doesn't really, because replace the tooth sprites with buildings and it's just like War of the Worlds. The sound effects are pretty stock, and not really reflective of squirting toothpaste or exploding Christmas puddings, which is a bit of a pity. Nevertheless, it earns Brownie points for fighting a noble cause against the serial (cereal?) killer that is tooth decay.

Pun courtesy Lakepalmer.

Saturday, 17 September 2011

Pokemon Green Engrish translation (Bootleg) [Game Boy] Playthrough PART 24

Dr Aochider is back for another part of this seemingly never-ending journey through Pokemon land, Engrish style.

YouTube description

An unforgettable trip to the Aster City in Pokemon Green Engrish. Incidentally, Aster is purple, a noble colour - more noble than turquoise or aquamarine, anyway. Scary stuff.

*Bonus: Silly Quotes*
  • Cheapo billboard: "Is it the haunted PET? New products! Hilluf observator! ..., Hilluf commercial firm"
  • Resident: "Recently, there appears ghosts... to haunt in the tower PET, always feels it is the spirit of PET killed by MISSILE..."
  • Boy: "You, do you think existing the ghost?!"
  • Resident 2: "This is in the tomb PET. Famous town... when PET fostered by, died, put it in the tower PET. Is there for praying..."
  • Resident 3: "It's funny! The old man Fuji isn't here! Where si he?"
  • Book: "Having won a first-class prize! Monthly, a generous gift of PET friend's! The call for antributions is. Why! Clipped!"
  • Girl: "I...! Can't forgive MISSILE! There the Haha's mother was seized and killed by MISSILE on the fleeing route."
  • Fortune-teller: "BICHO has named a rather good nickname. But, , let me give you a slight bettermane! How about you?"
  • Bloke in shop: "It is... that the grandpa is looking for. It's a tool to enhance the skill of for a while when PET is contesting. ... Don't you know the name of ... a speed promoter, that can increase the strength and enhance... specially?"

Saturday, 10 September 2011

Rambler (Walker/Clown Down Town) on TV Boy II [Atari 2600 clone] - Attack of the Mr Benns

Presenting Clown Down Town (AKA Rambler or Walker), surely one of the most simplistic games for the Atari 2600. Or in this case, the TV Boy, an Atari emulator that plugs into your television and renders classic (and less classic) games in the incorrect colours and with mutilated music.

Before Super Mario Brothers, there was 'Walker' by Starsoft. You did not jump on enemies, rather avoid them for your life, for the top-hatted gentlemen blocking your way are fatal to touch. Good thing our protagonist is capable up NBA-style jumps that would embarrass even Javier Sotomayor. Once you had completed six screens of this, you were transported back to the first and a harder challenge presented. Not that difficult at first, but things certainly become tougher as the time in which you have to complete individual screens rapidly decreases upon each regeneration.

As with many Atari games, this is a fun time-killer if you have half an hour to fill, but beyond that there isn't much depth. Good thing the TV Boy has 100-odd more games for you to sample, including the much more frantic and exciting Fast Food (hint, hint). For a sedate, relaxing game, however, Clown Down Town is alright. It has some neat little graphics (even featuring what looks like a UFO!) but you'll soon get tired of seeing them. Mind you, you do tend to block them out after a while so it's less of an issue. Besides, this is Atari, and you should be grateful for small mercies.

Worth a look for its camp value.

Saturday, 3 September 2011

Pokemon Green Engrish translation (Bootleg) [Game Boy] Playthrough PARTS 21-23

Dr Aochider is joined by fellow authoritative person on PET Skidgle for another live commentary segment of Pokemon Green Engrish. Here, we both attempt to navigate the Rock Mountain Tunnel without the aid of FLASH or repels. I must be out of my tiny mind.

*Bonus: Silly Quotes*
  • Fanatic 1: "PET, fight! Ladies, come on!"
  • Fanatic 1(on losing): "Is it defeated?"
  • Fanatic 2: "I also drew some illustration PET and the alike whlie I was at home."
  • Fanatic 2 (on losing): "I'm so tired!"
  • Girl Scout 1: "No problem even though having a competition, but ... doesn't often come here."
  • Girl Scout 1 (on losing): "Lost!"
  • Fanatic 3: "That... does he know Karsebuly PET?"
  • Fanatic 3 (on losing): "I can't tackle this!"
  • Mountain Man 1: "Rush out if you were a man!"
  • Mountain Man 1 (on losing): "Tong 56#!"
  • Mountain Man 2: "I, having lived in mountain for a long time, will never let the foreigner tyranize here!"
  • Mountain Man 2 (on losing): "Extraordinary!"
  • Mountain Man 3: "Ha, ha! Can you defeat my power?"
  • Mountain Man 3 (on losing): "Well! Power, lost?"
  • Fanatic 4: "Are you compiling the illustrated handbook PET? Skunk! I also want to do it!"
  • Fanatic 4 (after losing): "... so, can you give it to me if you've finished comlipe?"
  • Girl Scout 2: "Yaoo! You have frightened me! Don't do any grotesque movement in the dim tunnel!"
  • Mountain Man 4 (on losing): "It is we who lost."
  • Girl Scout 3: "Ah, that is PET! Let's begin now!"
  • Girl Scout 3 (on losing): "Once more!"
  • Girl Scout 4: "I'm even here for looking for PET!"
  • Girl Scout 4 (on losing): "Here isn't PET"
  • Girl Scout 5: "Ah...! For a long time I did not go on the mountainous way, , as if I am an anaemia patient."
  • Girl Scout 5 (on losing): "..., feels not so well, no any good method."
  • Fanatic 5: "Hey, hey! Are you enjoying my PET?"
  • Fanatic 5 (on losing): "Ah! Precious little byby PET!"